maybe today

No baby yet. This is what I say to anyone who asks, this is what I say to myself every morning when I rise, every evening when I go to bed. No baby yet... but soon. Any day now, maybe today.

Katie has begun to look tired and uncomfortable. She discovered another stretch mark and the doctor on Monday said when he felt her belly, oh-oh, which immediately brought her head off the table to say, what?!?, and he replied that this baby was about eight and a half pounds. (this is not news... they have all been over 8) Anyway, he said if not this week, then they would induce.

I want a girl... I'm trying so hard to just hold that want lightly, since I know I would love, love another little boy who when he reaches two and a half begins to say "penis" for the pure fun of it, whose first words are vroom or thp-thp-thp or beep beep, perfectly mimicking the sounds of jets or helicopters or dump trucks. Honestly I do love boys... but I want a girl. Someone who talks and negotiates her way through life. Someone who like the Queen of Hearts will put her heel down and cry "off with their heads!" Someone who grabs hold of life and shakes it until it coughs up what she wants. A girl, a master of her own destiny. That's what I want... though I would love a boy, too.

I'm ready for you I tell that round belly... I'm ready to meet you. Maybe it will be today...