craft bug

The other day I dropped off a trunk-load of items at my favorite thrift store, stopped to browse and walked out with three knitting books and three knitting magazines. Since then, I have been going through them a page at a time.
This little vest, from Creative Knitting, really appeals to me. Fair Isle(something I'd like to learn, but have been afraid of), but easy. I have read through the entire pattern and think I could master it if I give myself enough time. In another book, 25 Bags to Knit, they have a few purses with extremely simple Fair Isle samplings in them... that might be a reasonable place to practice carrying color as I get ready for the vest. I also wonder if I could make the vest a bit longer, since I think this cropped style only looks good on curvier figures than those that run in my family.

I have been primarily a scarf and felted bag girl since I began knitting. It is time I branched out and learned a few more tricks. Now all I need to do is think about color combinations and yarn choices. Maybe I can use some of my considerable stash for the color-ways. In fact, I could probably do the entire thing if I chose black as the background color....

So many choices!

hungry

On Wednesday, I went hiking with a friend and had an asthma attack... now my family says, "You have asthma???" and the thing is, this has happened to me before, but a lot smaller. This time it was a big asthma attack. I struggled to breath, my heart rate went crazy, my chest hurt. I made it to the end of the hike, obviously, but it was a struggle. The next morning when I woke up, my chest muscles were sore and my lungs still felt tight... hmmm.

But here is the thing, since Wednesday I have been famished. Probably not related to the asthma thing, but I guess I am linking it. I have been thinking about food. Greens and beautiful brown rice. Red beans Cajun-style and this sauerkraut salsa my daughter showed me how to make.

Sauerkraut salsa may not sound like a good thing, but believe me, it is about the tastiest thing there ever was coupled with brown rice and beans, some chopped up red pepper, and fresh onion.
The ingredients are simple, a small cabbage, a couple bunches of cilantro, an onion, several cloves of garlic, three or four Roma tomatoes, a bunch of beets, and several jalapenos.

Roughly chop the ingredients, saving the beet greens to wilt with garlic for dinner.

and toss them into a food processor...

From the food processor to a big bowl. Once all the ingredients are added, stir them together, add 3 cups of salted (2Tsalt) water, stir again.

Place the mixture in clean glass jars, pouring the extra liquid on top, leave about two inches for expansion. Allow to sit on the counter for three days, then refrigerate.

Doesn't it look beautiful? The flavor will be so tart-hot yet fresh tasting when it is all done. I don't know if I can wait three days!

Last chance

Today was my last chance and first time to ski this year... but still at 7:30 this morning I still hadn't 100% decided whether I was going to go or not. At 7:45 I told myself, "just go!" And so I did.

I went to Snowbowl, the ski resort just north of Flagstaff. Some years they have only been able to open for a week, but this year Arizona has been blessed with snow... but too bad for me, it seemed I was either sick or busy every weekend between the end of December and today.
It was a beautiful day! I love spring conditions... spoiled, I guess.. Just can't imagine why anyone would want to ski in the cold... No heavy jacket, a thermal, a long sleeved T and a fleece vest... and a bunch of sun screen. I started on the greens just to warm up.

But it wasn't too long and I graduated to the blues and even a tame black diamond a couple of times. You know, as much as I like going down the hill, my favorite part of skiing is riding the lift... it is so silent and peaceful. I had forgotten.
And I began to have a really good time, met some nice folks, and promised that next year this would be more of a priority.
The snow is going quickly. There will be no more within a week or so. Spring is pushing it's way into the mountains. My day ended here when I realised my legs were wearing out. I hadn't fallen once and did not want to break that record.

five

1.second week of spring break. The life-style change has set in. Mmmmm, I love this life!
2. cleaner/less clutter house... getting rid of things like the beautiful, classic pearl gray Jones of New York suit I bought fifteen years ago... the one I have only worn a few times, but saved because I planned on getting married in it... oh, that felt good!
3. my dad came through his eye surgery with no complications and he will be able to see!!! (and read the Wall Street Journal, that high-end conservative rag, for the remainder of his life)
4. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert... wow! Especially page 285. I think I am finally getting it!
and last, but not least...
5. this feeling that everything is working itself out in it's own time and that I do not have to shift control mode any time soon.

: )

morning stroll

The spring rains have brought beautiful vegetation to the hills, but have washed away all the soil from the trails, leaving a rocky path.

The brittlebush is in full bloom, brilliant yellow flowers against silver green foliage.
I finally reach the top and can see the trail leading down the hill in front of me. Look at the city sprawl. We are fortunate to have these mountain islands in the midst of the city.

I have just assured a group of Indian women that this is the last rise before the path heads down. One of the things that is changing in this city is the number of ethnic groups. When I first moved here it was Mexican and mid-westerners... but now the Asian, Indian, and African communities are growing. This is so enriching! Plus, the numbers of ethnic restaurants and groceries makes my life so interesting.
End of the trail. Good thing, too. My stomach is beginning to rumble, telling me the sushi I ate last night is long gone.

guilding the lily

Lately I try not looking too closely at myself... age, and maybe just a touch of indifference, have been taking their toll. But in the last couple days I have been working at a little self-improvement. I cleaned out my closet and set aside some things that have never been "me". I made a list of things I would like... jeans that fit, a fine pair of sandals, all new bras, and maybe a top or two that have that Gap, J. Crew, J. Jill sense of tailored casual. Oh, and fresh color for my hair...

I found this J. Crew shirt at the local thrift store yesterday... it was 99cent Monday's and this was the one thing I paid more than 99cents for. I had seen an almost identical shirt, Ralph Lauren, at the mall that day for $79. This was $7.99.

These Born sandals are super comfortable and something about them takes me right back to 1969.

Four new bras... and a new bigger size. Sadly, not because I have become more voluptuous... just a rather distressing excess of skin! But they make me feel a bit better about my self than the ones I discarded Monday.

before hair color .....

and after..... good heavens, could I have broken my nose and not have known it? Okay, the picture is horrible, but the color really is good.

Oh and I found the jeans at J. Jill, the Tried and True fit.

movement

A winter storm has moved in, if you can call 60 degrees and partly cloudy skies winter. The last winter storm of the season for Arizona, so they say. But who are "they", and who really knows about the forces of nature.

The clouds danced across the sky all day on the prevailing winds just as the tectonic plates move over the molten gel of super-heated rock. Fitting together, pulling apart. Movement is inevitable, really... but it is hard to predict where it will happen, how it will play out. Will it be a smooth sliding of one thing over another, a buckling where apposing forces push together, or a catastrophic occurrence, like a hurricane or volcanic eruption which will leave a trail of destruction in it's wake?.

I don't know if it is the wind, the change in barometric pressure, the push-pull of living or the events of the last few days, but I am moving again, too. And I do not know where or how it will play out.

2006

Glacier National Monument, July 2006. I'd like to be in this beautuiful spot right now.

a couple of things

Three days to go until spring break.

The sixth graders today did their best to alienate me. The age is difficult enough, but couple that with a last period art class (spelled "free-time" as far as they are concerned) and the last week of school before break. Well, they were insufferable... and I was probably lacking in understanding. So we were poorly matched.

But three more days and then I will have two wonderful weeks to read, hike the mountain, shop for a few essentials I've been needing, trim my bougainvillea and sleep until I wake up naturally. Bliss!

I am in love with PJ... he is a kindergartner. He knows I love him. I give him this fierce look and he gives me this little smile and calls me "Art".... we are doing top and bottom pictures right now. We talk half a period about what is up and what is down and then I show them a piece of paper and say, "this is the top, this is the bottom" and we talk about what goes at the top and the bottom of the page. Kindergartners let houses float in the sky... I am trying to get them to think about placement, plus their teachers tell me they really need to reinforce these concepts. All I know is they are fun to do, and though I cannot identify a thing on PJ's top and bottom picture, he has told me what everything is and he has got it just right.

So one really annoying minus, but a great big plus to make things come out well... kind of like Obama's bid for the nomination.

Guess you know, I like him the best, too.

the experiment: Sunday Scribblings

Two weeks ago the hills were crazy with the brilliant spring green that late winter rains bring to the desert. By this morning, the green had dulled to a mid-summer kind of rich olive. It won't last long, this lushness. I needed to get out in it. I needed to walk. I needed to have a conversation with God, or myself, or maybe just the hills.

This is what played in my head as I walked. I was in a kayak... I am always in a kayak. The kayak is red, and yes, it is always red. And I am stuck in this danged eddy, turning round and round. I can see the river flowing by, people in other boats heading down the current having the time of their lives, but I am not going with them. I am not where I think I want to be, but I'm not doing much to get there either.

So as I mentally spin round and round I ask, as I have done before, for a sign... just a small one. Some clue as to what I should do next. Julia Cameron in Finding Water says to do the next tiny thing, but I feel dizzy and unbalanced. Lately, all I know to do is to stay in one place. Any other action feels random and haphazard.

Then I think of the paper scrap I came across the other day. The one where I had written, 'Where shall I look? Here.' And I work at dragging myself back to the present, to the trail, the first lizard of the season, the flowers, and I hear trail runners coming up behind me. I step to the side to let them by and notice the runner to the rear has a dog with her. As they go by I see the dog is missing a back leg. "Good morning," I say and then looking down at the dog, say "Good for him." The woman responds in kind, and I wonder if this is my sign.

A three-legged dog was running the trail more sure footedly than I could.

I often think of experiment, of leaning out of my comfort zone, of just seeing what happens as something I need to do over there... where the grass is greener, where all the other kayakers are paddling the river... but today I think I need to learn a lesson from that dog and just put my head down and keep an eye on the trail ahead of me.

what I needed today

Today, as I merged onto the freeway, I adjusted the volume on my radio. NPR. Clinton, Obama, McCain. Nope. I have had enough of that for a couple of days.

The sub-prime debacle, raising gas and food prices, global warming.... Oooo, I need a break from that, too.

Flip the channel. KSLX. Classic Rock. Loud. The way it was meant to be heard.

Play list: Sting, the Stones, Eagles.... I sang along and negotiated the traffic as I made my way to work.
In my classroom, I found the channel again and cranked up the volume. I stood near the back of the room, away from the windows and moved to the music. Dancing, like the girl doctors in Gray's Anatomy. Working the tension out.
With every break I had today, I returned to the music. Played it again, on my car radio, all the way home. Let it cascade over me and wash the day and the stress away. Danced and tapped my foot as I sang and drove.

Sometimes what I need is classical, sometimes opera, often I need chant or a new age sound... but for today and maybe tomorrow, too, what I need is the raw sound of old rock, the guitars wailing out their riffs, the familiar lyrics, the drum beat that pulls me along and throws me out the other side.

Maybe not quite, 'tame the savage beast' but at least gave the beast a place roar.

five really good things

Coming straight home after work and taking a nice long walk before it got dark.

Scheduling a hike with my friend Jack over break.

Getting nearly all of my grading done before 3:45 p.m.

Running across a scrap of paper I have been saving that says this:

Where shall I look? Here.
When? Happening now.
Why don't I perceive? You don't look.
What do I look for? Nothing.
At what? Whatever.
A special way? No.
Don't I always? No.
Why? Because to look you must be here.

Going to bed early with a new book.

time travel and other means of locomotion

Today I realized I have misplaced my debit card again. I think this may be the third time this year that I have had to report it lost. My brain has been functioning in a different time zone lately.

To keep track of debit cards, where you are on the freeway, what you wanted to purchase at the grocery store you need to keep yourself in the present. I have been bopping this week between the sweet memories of the past and the unrealized fears for the future.

On Monday I brought in pictures of glaciers, icebergs, and wild-crazy adventure to show some third graders who have no knowledge of the world beyond the hot dry of south-central Arizona. The pictures were in an album filled with three consecutive years of adventures... a month spent in central Mexico learning the language and culture, fourteen days rafting the Alsek River in the Yukon and Alaska, ten days sea kayaking and rafting in Costa Rica. I guess I have not looked at these pictures in years, and I was awash with longing for the camaraderie of fellow travelers that great adventures affords. Since Costa Rica, I have been to Idaho numerous times, to Glacier Park and Yellowstone. I saw the sun set behind the Grand Tetons as I dropped down into Jackson, WY and do not think I have seen anything more beautiful. I have been to Europe a couple of times, to France with my sister and to enchanting Switzerland to visit my beautiful daughter... and these were all wonderful adventures in their own way, but this week as I looked back at the wildness of class four rapids, ice-cold wind and deadly cold water, I remembered only the vastness and the awe it inspired in me. I wanted to do it again. I wanted to feel that kind of alive and so for much of the week as I went through the motions of life, I felt the river under me and the cold snap of the wind on my face.

At the end of the week, still riding the river, I visited my parents to check up on them. As we talked about their week and mine, I noticed a couple hot air balloons in the sky and pointed them out. My mom said that balloons were often in the sky in that direction, but my dad said he could not see them. He then told me he could hardly read anymore. I asked him about driving and he said that yes he was still driving, but he preferred the freeways to the surface streets, because he did not have to worry about pedestrians. He has cataracts and a surgery scheduled for mid-March... but the doctors have been preparing him for complications... so things may not turn out as we hope.

So from the wild freedom of the river, my mind flipped to the dark prison of fruitless worry over a future I have no control over.

The easy part, you know, will be taking the keys away.

I lost my debit card again. I had it. I can remember having it, using it, yesterday. I remember putting it away. But now it is gone. And the only thing I can think, is that I was somewhere else when it left me... that my brain, my head, my heart was walking about while my hands were moving.