my dad

This is my dad. He was being a really good sport here and put on a mask I had unearthed in the storage room that serves my art classroom. I had brought it home and on the day we celebrated my youngest's birthday everyone tried it on, and Dad was so hysterical that I just had to take a picture.

This is the last picture I have of my dad... I need to take more.

He is in the hospital tonight with a blood clot in his groin. I just came back from seeing him and he seems fine. The same tell a joke, make light of everything kind of guy... but there is this dangerous thing in him... and it scares me.

The doctor came into the room while I was there. A man with an accent, a man of color, a very nice man... and he asked my dad a series of questions. Did he smoke? Does he drink? Is there any history of clots or heart disease in his family? No, maybe two a week, no. How many children do you have?

Dad says, "Two. I have been pregnant two times... how many times have you been pregnant?" the doctor tells him, "Two."

He asked him about his difficulty breathing and how well he slept at night. He asked about surgeries and prior illnesses. He asked all the right doctor questions and Dad answered them all honestly... except he lied or just forgot that he did have a fever in the past week...

Then Dad asked the doctor where he was from. The doctor replied, " Where do you think I am from?" And I looked at him, really for the first time, and thought, "No, he is not from India." But my dad said, "Ethiopia?" and the doctor said, with a bit of surprise, "Just to the north of Ethiopia"... or maybe Northern Ethiopia... He told my dad that no one had ever guessed correctly before. He asked him how he knew... and Dad said he had met a couple of other fellows from Ethiopia and the accent sounded right.

How could he hear so clearly?!? I was pretty amazed at my father right then. The doctor was impressed, too.

He told me I had a fine father, and a healthy one... and then I said something disparaging (why why why?) and the doctor said, "No, he really is a fine man."

The doctor told me they would keep him in the hospital for three days. Tomorrow I will go stay with my mom, although I will only be there at night, after work. Dad will worry about her less that way.

I will miss two days of water aerobics and one day of water yoga... I know this is self-centered of me, but I really hate to miss my water aerobics.

When I left, I kissed him on the top of the head and told him to behave... why didn't I say, "I love you Dad."

I am afraid. My dad is supposed to live. I want him back in his chair lecturing me with all his wrong-thinking conservative Republican opinions, so I can tell him I just can't talk to him any more...

But then... none of this is up to me.