love and marriage

I met my friend, Maria probably fifteen years ago. It was a couple of days before school started and as the librarian at the time, I needed to be there when the new teachers arrived.

She walked into my library wearing MC Hammer pants, a too big, tie-dyed t-shirt, and sporting a tied back in a pony-tail, mop of unruly dark blonde hair. I remember saying to Paula, "I am going to like that girl." She was an independent spirit.

Over the course of that first year, I came to know that my first prediction would hold true. I did like her. A lot. Maria was funny and kind, thoughtful and brave, soft and tough at the same time. I talked her into hiking with me and got us signed up on the hike from hell. She was young and mature beyond her years. She would quote Dr. Laura to me... and I would tell her, "for Christ's sake, my mother listens to Dr. Laura"... and she would laugh and say, well, she makes a lot of sense...

She met Jimmy about three years later, put him through the Dr. Laura test, (I rolled my eyes.) and married him ten years ago.

They have had some ups and at least two deep downs... harder times, I think than I would have withstood. Four years ago, they had a little girl, Angelina Rose... Maria and I think maybe William and Angelina should get married, so we can be related.

Yesterday was their tenth anniversary (tin or aluminum for those who care) and they renewed their vows. I was invited to attend.

And as they stood before the priest, I thought about what a brave thing they were doing. It is easy, the first time, when what you have seen is only the good side of a person, not knowing how damned hard it can be to promise to love and cherish... but the second time, when you know it has been tough and will no doubt be again.

So there they stood, promising these things to each other with this full set of knowledge and trying to get their wedding rings back on their hands that have swollen a bit over the years... and Maria got confused and gave Jim her right hand first, by mistake. Angelina danced around the entire time, telling us her mommy and daddy were getting married. The laughed and kissed and I cried a teeny bit.

Later, Jim sort-of admitted that the renewing the vows thing had been Maria's idea, but that he was in for the long haul and hoped they could share a bed until the day they died... unless one of the started to snore... but he withdrew that right away, since he figured the snorer might end up being him.