some thoughts about baking and competition

I have been invited to a cookie exchange... and just like when I go to a pot luck, or I bring something special to a party, the desire to outdo myself is strong... So I have decided to make my grandmother's recipe for three-part cookies... the cut-out kind. The decorated kind. The hours of labor kind, because I will become caught up in the decoration (I'm thinking about using a teeny paint brush for detail).

When I am done here, I will begin frosting. Hopefully I will be finished in a couple hours.

I'm not much of a baker. I am really not much of a cook. Oh I have my good meals. I make a killer salad that will stand up against any fine dining offering... but for the most part you will find me eating and cooking brown rice with some steamed veggies most of the time.

But when I am expected to bring something to share with others I find myself going a little overboard. I pull out my cookbooks, check my ingredients, head for the organic section of the market. I want to make something wonderful, something unusual, something that will delight my audience.

The audience, however, almost always prefers chocolate chip cookies, or mashed potatoes, or macaroni and cheese.

My daughter has the same problem. I have told her we need to seek counseling... or at least call each other when we are expected to bring a dish for a group of folks who we may not know that well. We need to remind each other that what we do well, and with ease, is what we should be doing... and that we probably should not care quite so much. Because what we are seeking is some kind of approval. Approval from really nice people who just do not know that this is my grandmother's recipe... who do not care too much how beautiful the cookies look... who do not delight in the rather crunchy-crumbly texture and the subtle sweet of the almond flavored frosting. They like chocolate.

I think I feel my most competitive in this spot where I really do not excel. But I feel nearly driven to be the super baker, the wonder chef, at least once or twice a year... and the entire time I scold myself for trying so hard.

I only have to take three dozen to the exchange, though... that will leave four dozen for my family, who I can poke if they do not show the proper appreciation for my efforts.